Assurance of Life
Waking early is my habit, often
before 7 & sleeping down the hall
these days means more rest for
both of us, with her cough and my
sometimes snores.
I start the coffee, it grinds
loudly & pours through while I
make up a snack of a ginger snap
or two a few roasted pecans, then
pour her coffee with a little milk
& take it through the house to where
she lies, usually awake, waiting,
knowing I’ll be there as I have been
almost every morning of our time
together but
now & again I sleep twenty minutes,
even a half hour later & she has voiced
her worry that maybe I’m not coming,
that the pacemaker above my heart
for two years now has lost its timing
that maybe I’m even gone.
What can I say to reassure, to comfort
her? We are both of ages that death
does strike in the darkness of early
morning & I too sometimes hold my
breath to make it easier to hear hers
when I am roused from sleep by nature
& stop in the hallway before lying down
again, looking past her open door for
movement or even a snore to verify life.
By James Higgins
“I am retired from work and am a lifelong writer of poetry (with some success). At the ages of myself and my wife, there is, of course, some caregiving and concern that compels to write about it.”
Thank you for publishing honest and beautiful poetry. I especially love the clear imagery step by step down the hall, the small ways we care for our spouses. These moments become even more precious with aging. In a way I feel an alternate title could be “Assurance of Loving.” This is a deep poem with enormous heart!