My Mother Recovers from a Head Injury

Alecia Beymer is an Assistant Professor – Educator in the English Department at the University of Cincinnati. Her poems have been published in Bellevue Literary Review, The Inflectionist Review, Pittsburgh Quarterly, and Sugar House Review. Her research is focused on literacies formed by space and place, considerations of the interconnected resonances of teachers and students, and the poetics of education. This poem originally appeared in Radar Poetry.

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My Mother Recovers from a Head Injury

My mother has lost words     she looms between    tries to capture meaning in obscure

pronunciation     a bird clawing syllables on tree branches     the gas has been left on again and there

is no fire     she tells me     do you hear me     you never listen to me    no one ever listens to me    

her head injury has made emotion collapsible     intensity shifts     anger is pervasive     and comes

on quick     my mother could out scream a bear with her sorrow     the bird is back     she says     

points to it    it is her echo     there is a nest     outside her window     which she says as widow     she

wishes for a return     I used to be able to remember     just absence    the songs she loved     she can

only hum     sifts through melody     in her dreams she says she always knows what to say     my

mother keeps her television on the Weather Channel      she needs to know she says      what is

to come     the swirling colors   of impending storms   no place matters too little  she always

keeps the door open when it storms    I remember walking along Emerald Isle       after

a hurricane       scouring the shoreline for what could be discovered       delivered anew       dead

baby sharks      a dresser with clothes still intact    driftwood            shells    my mother seemed to believe

everything had a use     we make what we can at will     just imagine     I’ve re-worn clothes from her

youth        a silk shirt her friend Marge bought her in Texas            a velvet burgundy dress from her

sister’s wedding           things that weren’t meant to be kept found solace in her closet        she

kept a pair of ballet flats believing they were my pointe shoes               this is what happens when

you get older she says     does it matter what the symbol is when we already know what it symbolizes          

we all hold onto things       the contours of sentimentality      I keep a box under my bed      the

door is open and a storm roams           wind brocading rain         let’s just stand here for a little while

longer      on the cusp of misremembering        all the while the tv permeates the room       calling

for a warning   it is here    rotating swirls of color over our heads   my mother remembers          

the stove is on     goes to turn it off     my mother carries words in her chest             she says she knows

but cannot say

Alecia Beymer is an Assistant Professor – Educator in the English Department at the University of Cincinnati. Her poems have been published in Bellevue Literary Review, The Inflectionist Review, Pittsburgh Quarterly, and Sugar House Review. Her research is focused on literacies formed by space and place, considerations of the interconnected resonances of teachers and students, and the poetics of education.

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