By Olivia Morris
Want to bag yourself a rich sexy doctor and tie them down? Like a cross between Dr Strange and Christian Grey 😜
I will let you in on a secret.
In the real world most physicians don’t own their own helicopters (can’t say if they have a red room though, each to their own 👀).
Most physicians do not sit on millions in the bank and drive around in Porsche 911’s.
Nor do the majority look like they were Abercrombie models in their youth (sorry docs, you’re just normal like the rest of us ❤️)
I do have some serious advice though.
I loved being a physicians wife but not for the reasons you may think. I loved it because I love my husband no matter what his job title is and that is the first step towards a happy and loving marriage. We committed to medicine, not him alone.
My relationship was with him, his patients and medicine as a whole. Get annoyed with any one of them and you indirectly harm the others.
To survive as a physician partner you aren’t just a partner. You have just signed up to being part of the team, and become somebody who sits there late at night helping to read questions and testing them so they can practice for exams.
By the way, reading medical words is incredibly challenging and humorous at the same time. I’ve done tongue twisters easier than reading some of the words in medical exam papers.
Oh you thought once med school was over they became this rich doctor who could take you to Rome for valentines weekend? Sorry the exams continue beyond that and their days can be really long (let’s not forget filled with debt and broke for years, so holidays maybe camping, possibly cancelled last minute).
We are also our partners shoulder when they are so physically and mentally exhausted they can’t continue anymore. We are their counsellors, their friends, their lovers, their assistants and so much more.
We don’t do it because we have to, we do it because we want to help them, we want them to be their best selves and give their best to their patients. Our lives are entwined.
Do our partners give us back all that in return? honestly no.
Not because they don’t want to, but because they physically can’t. They do long days, are under pressure, have very limited time and are barely functioning as a human being by the end of their days.
I promise you that the majority will give you back as much as they possibly can and they are doing their best.
I know I gave up a huge amount for medicine. Some would say that’s sacrifice, I would like to see it as a joint venture and we both gave up a lot for it.
We have been tired together, cried together, grieved together, laughed together, celebrated together and been devoted to helping people together.
The next time you think about marrying a doctor because of his title and perceived wealth, wait outside of a hospital, watch them walk out to their very normal car, looking like they have been dragged backwards through a bush and think about it.
Olivia Morris is the Co-founder and CEO of Doctors Living & Hubelle | Host of Making Medicine Better Podcast | Society of Physician Entrepreneurs Chapter Lead Ireland & UK