If you have heard these words before it is likely you have been summoned to a meeting in which you are getting a review. It may be a planned meeting or impromptu, yet the message is the same. You will now be judged by a set of rules which appear to be the same for all players in the game called workplace, yet they are not the same.
No one tells you this. On the surface, we are all equally getting the same set of benchmarks that need to be fulfilled. These are important. After all, there is no drama in numbers. Numbers are just data. Data is important because otherwise, it is just an opinion.
Yet, when women are being judged in metrics, it is not uncommon that again, the playing field is not the same. Usually, the metric in medicine may be RVUs (relative value units), yet in all fields, women will have their own metrics whether you are a lawyer, researcher, or engineer.
The premise of having a meeting to discuss how we can be helped to succeed implies we are not successful. We are not enough, we are broken, and we are missing the mark. It is a subconscious message which is then internalized and then permeates our psyche. It comes like the wave of water on the sand and saturates our subconscious. I am not enough. I am failing. I am not succeeding.
This is false. And those who succeed and thrive from this are many. There is so much power in devaluing others, especially psychologically. Once you have believed you are not succeeding, not worthy, you will not fight back. You will not ruffle feathers, you will no longer ask why, and you will not stand up for any injustice. You have no strength left.
I am here to tell you that these false beliefs do not belong to you. They don’t belong to you at all. They belong to the person who is saying them. They are the ones that are empty, not enough. If their cup was full and they were in a place full of love, they would see you for who you are: a beautiful and powerful being. A being that succeeds when the playing field is not equal. One who not only succeeds but excels and may be better than the comparison group. Women physicians everywhere not only excel in their craft as physicians, but they will have outstanding patient reviews, they may at the same time never be deficient, suspended, or delinquent in tasks compared to their counterparts. Yet this will be overlooked.
They do all this while juggling many roles, being caretakers for children, for parents whose health is failing, for friends in need of support, and for their spouses. They will accomplish all this while pumping breast milk without extra accommodations, with little sleep, and hanging on to their self-care.
Women do this and not only are they succeeding at their craft: they are thriving. Yet, those who are here to help you succeed are not here to truly help you succeed as they declare. They are hindering you with their negative chatter, their subtle yet powerful dehumanizing force.
by Diana Londoño
Diana Londoño MD is a urologist.
Artist Twitter: https://twitter.com/DianaLondonoMD
Artist Website: https://physiciancoachsupport.com/